Despite their one-hour delivery window, the next available is for 3pm the following day, meaning I'll now have to fashion a meal out of an old piece of fish and a cucumber. I quickly discover in the hunt for groceries and bathroom products that Instacart isn't so instant. Thank goodness for Instacart, the service that sends strangers to do your grocery shopping and schlepping for you. Until, of course, you also realize you're fresh out of toilet paper and are stuck on this side of your front door. Words cannot describe how good it feels to wake up on a weekday, tired and groggy, and suddenly realize you have nowhere you need to be. Will I teach you? Sure, but I'll warn you: It requires a lot of liquor.
IM A SHUT IN HOW TO
But it certainly taught me how to survive without stepping outdoors. Note: The following experiment took place several weeks ago, before Mayor DeBlasio grounded all New Yorkers this week during snowstorm Juno. And while it's certainly a convenient lifestyle, it's not without a few major pitfalls, at least if you value your sanity. I wanted to see what would happen if I shut myself in my New York City apartment for six straight days, living only off the land-and by "land," I mean "the App Store." What I discovered: It's just like having a servant boy, if that servant was an expensive stranger who came to your home with embarrassingly unimportant things like juice boxes of wine, high-end Chinese food, and kickboxing lessons.
Which is what I just did for an entire week.
In theory, you could just take that snow day.and never go back to work. Encouraging this laziness is a new multitude of on-demand beauty and delivery apps, all capable of bringing deep-tissue massages and pre-chopped dinner ingredients to your doorstep-assuming you live in a major city. If you've recently been trapped inside your house due to an act of Mother Nature, you know the restorative power a couple hours of in-home lounging can bring.
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